I Despise That I Adore You, But My Heart Stops When You Look At Me

Must everything you do make me wanna smile?

Can I not like you for awhile?

What I'm going to write down probably aren't as sweet as candy canes and sugar puffs, but hell, I'm not much of a sweet tooth anyway. >:p
I know it may not be my place yet to say all these things about you, when I've only known you for less than a year. Maybe what I've been perceiving from you can change in a matter of weeks or even days, but I hope how you feel about me will always be the same as how I feel about you.
Just, don't get mad, okay? Keep on reading. 0:p

You have your own sense of humor which sometimes I can't quite comprehend. What you think as funny, can confuse me at times. Maybe because I don't understand how you think it's funny, or maybe because I don't see why you would laugh at those things.

There are times (only once in a while, though) when your jokes are just so corny, they make me sad. Like, when I read them, I feel sorry for you, because the jokes are just not that funny.

(Seriously, keep going. Don't complain just yet.)

You hate the things that shouldn't really be hated, and you favor the things that shouldn't really be favored.

You're afraid of things that I'm not afraid of, and you can't do some of the things that I can. I was like, "really? I thought a person like you wouldn't get scared of that kind of thing," or "you can't do that? Why am I so sad when you're the one who can't even do that..." (TT^TT)

There are times when you can get upset over the simple things. It's weird that you can be bothered by things that are so... I don't know, like, "you actually care about those stuff?" (o___O)a

Sometimes, it's not that easy for you to let go of your chagrin. Not even I can do anything about it.

But then, you can be so nonchalant at times. What doesn't give you any benefit, won't get any attention from you. You also can be a bit oblivious towards the impact of your actions or remarks on others.

You tease me in ways that can be so annoying. Like, seriously, urgh. >:#

Every so often, you are childish and silly. It often amazes me how someone your age can still be so ridiculous. (Hahaha, this totally makes you sound so old, doesn't it? >:p)

When we're sitting together, we don't always have much things to talk about..... Heck, we spend most of our time trying to think of a subject!

But even with all those things...

I know you get me, so I let my walls come down..

You still laugh and you tell me that I'm funny, when I'm actually being lame or just plain idiot. I'm not used to being called "funny", yet it's kind of strange how I don't seem to mind if you're the one who calls me that.

However, oddly enough, I can't help but to always laugh on your jokes. Even as I cringe and say, "uuuuu, it's not funny at all..." or "why is it so corny...", I say those while laughing. :')
Maybe, unconsciously, your jokes are actually funny for me, but my logical mind somehow keeps refusing to say so, ahahahaha! X"D

Well, lucky for you, I hate the same things, and I love the same things. 'Nuff said. Oh, wait. Some of your favorite TV shows have to be excluded here, though. >:p

You admit those things to me, and I'm so glad with it. Letting me know even the not-so-tough sides of you, doesn't make you look weak, it only makes you look stronger (in my opinion). You probably think that you're supposed to impress me all the time, but by trusting me enough to let me know your so-called weakness, you actually accomplished that. :)
And you still listen to me and appreciate me, even when I try to tell you how to do this or that in a way that is (I don't know, probably) annoying and smart-ass-like. I'm terribly sorry for that, please, I beg you, don't hesitate to tell me that I'm annoying and I should just shut my mouth and stop being a smarty-pants anytime I cross the line, okay? (.____.)v

But you're still patient enough to listen to me when I also nag and whine to you about petty things that tick me off. You always try to calm me down and you even try to give me some solutions, without making yourself sound pushy.

Nevertheless, you can easily console me whenever I'm upset. You can easily make me smile, regardless of how complicated my problem is. Do you know how weird it feels to suddenly burst a laugh when you're in the middle of crying? Well, I do. I just hope someday I can do the same thing to you. I want to be able to make you forget about all the things that disappoint you and make you smile sincerely at all times. :)

You know exactly what to do,

So that I can't stay mad at you for too long, that's wrong..

And yet, you surprisingly notice the little things around you. Disappointments taught me not to expect anything much from certain people, and that was exactly what I did when you came into my life. But you took me by surprise and you said or did things which I thought you wouldn't. The little things that make me so happy, even when I don't show it to you.

Then you flatter me and flirt in silly yet sweet ways when I least expect it. How did you manage to make me instantly forget that you were mocking me seconds before? How did you  manage to make me stop sulking just like that? Man, I have no idea. (-.....-)"

In other times, you still manage to deal with my immaturity, and you do that without belittling me. Sure, there are times when I feel like you're treating me like a little sister, but I just shrug it off because I know that's not your intention, and it's probably just me being overly sensitive, hahahahaha... (￣___￣)v
And despite all that, I love you just the way you are, with all of your wittiness and silliness. (>ᴗ<)

Even if we don't have any conversation going on, I don't want it to end, like, I enjoy the silence that we share. When we were just sitting there, holding each others hands or just being side by side, and suddenly our eyes met, so we awkwardly said, "what? Nothing," then we both chuckled because we still didn't have anything to say. That went on and on. Doesn't sound like much of an amusement, eh? But I never get bored of it, and I hope you don't get bored of it too. If you do, don't hesitate to tell me, okay? :)

Somehow, after perceiving all those things about you, I still can't help myself but to like you even more. I really despise the fact that I can't seem to despise you. Whenever I try to sulk, I end up smiling and laughing at everything you say. I try to keep myself calm and collected, but every time I see you, and every time we're together, I catch my breath, my heart nearly stops, and it feels like there are crazy butterflies in my stomach.
I think I'm really ill.
I should probably check myself to a hospital. (╯︵╰,)

I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece.